Today Brian and I signed the lease on the lovely little house I mentioned a couple entries ago.
I thought it might be appropriate to do a 'one year ago today' throwback post but what do you know, I didn't write on July 1st of last year and my post on the second was just a silly little survey. So I went back into June and found this post which I found to be very interesting. Crazy to think that at the time I could have never imagined where I'd be a year from then. Not even close. I wasn't even sure I was ready to leave NYC back then.
Some excerpts:
I still recognized the qualities in him that I had always admired, and that I had fallen in love with in the first place - he's honest and raw, facetious yet earnest, and passionate to a fault. He is one who wants to experience and taste life. God, have I been lacking that in so many potential partners. ...
... It's really strange though, thinking about it now after having digested it for the rest of the day... because to this day he remains the only boy who has ever said 'I love you' to me, and more importantly the only boy who has ever actually been in love with me (whatever capacity 18-year-old love can have). And it fizzled so quickly, while I went on to experience so much half-assed, game-playing relationship drama, and he went on to fall in love with three other women who seem so different from me, sweep them off their feet and have these all-encompassing, heartfelt relationships that I've only imagined for myself from afar.
And I'm left wondering two things: what was it about him that allowed him to overcome the obstacle that every other man has encountered when it comes to being with me - why him for me, and me for him? And also - what is it about me that is just so hard for men to wrap their minds around the idea of loving? ...
... In some ways, despite the hours that I spent crying over him, hurting myself over him, and hating him - I feel lucky to have had him in my life, in exactly the way that I did. I'm not one to have many regrets - and he played a really important role in who I am today, both the good and the bad. I don't think it could have possibly turned out this way if he hadn't been exactly who he is... you know?
And now here we are. I'm about to embark on the rest of my life with a boy I met just two months later and knew startlingly fast was the right choice for me. I'm nervous, anxious, and above all, excited. Very excited.
comments
it is indeed exciting and how could you know this would happen? a year is a lot of time for major events to happen. myself |
July 2, 2008 12:35 AM you make me smile :) Good luck with everything! elle |
July 3, 2008 9:41 PM
Love you Karel!!