Actually, that's not true. A few lovely things happened today. I just can't talk about them yet. Haha!!
I feel bad not giving you something to read... so...
Here is a piece that I wrote roughly five years ago. I was a junior in college, emerging from depression - though still pretty rough around the edges - and still partially heartbroken.
I’m sitting in my soft, yellow-lit room, candles flickering shadows against the walls, a Hershey’s kiss melting on my tongue. A boy is playing a love song on television.
I’m thinking of you. I haven’t met you yet, perhaps, but my mind, which has just picked itself up onto reborn legs, is waiting for you to materialize. I see you in many forms now, not sure which is real and which are mere distractions.
He was my biggest distraction, a blow to the knees that kept me crippled and unable to heal as long as he held the bat. I used to think he was what distractions held me from attaining.
On my feet I think differently, and more lucidly.
Life is happening around me. I’d forgotten that all along I’ve been making my own.
I see you seeing me and wondering. I see you wanting to make life with me. To live something so inexplicably undefinable that we can only look back and dream.
Waiting for spring to wake life back into the air, when everything is about aliveness and breathing, deep inhalations of sweet warm sun, the smell of earth and wind, love is in the air, throw your arms out and fall back into mine, we’ll lay on the grass and soak each other in, lazy days of nothing but wonderful.
On my feet. Waking.
