Dear friends, today I did the unthinkable.

I went to the Middletown Public Library. And I got a new library card. And I checked out some books!

I registered for the Praxis II exam as part of my application for a teaching certification, and as such I needed some study guides. I was all ready to trek out to Barnes and Noble to get some when my ever so practical mother suggested that I go to the library to save some money. I looked at her as if she had just suggested I throw myself into the fiery depths of hell - naturally, as that is the equivalent of the library to a LIBRARIOPHOBE such as myself.

She said, 'It's time to get over it, Karel.'

Oh, Mom.

And so, in accord with my 'starting a new life' initiative, I set off for the library. It's been completely remodeled since my childhood- what? It's shocking to you that I dared set foot in the library in childhood? Oh. Allow me to backtrack into a bit of Karel's life history...

I used to love the library. Since birth. Okay, maybe three years of age - which is when I began to read. I would pore over all of the old books in my preschool and kindergarten libraries, to the point that during DEAR time (remember that? Pizza Hut incentives? Mmmm... Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas!) I would have to skip across the hallway and borrow books from the first grade classroom. Public library trips were a weekly thing - I even had my own canvas bag in which to tote all of my books to and from the library. I loved, loved, loved the library, and reading. I would sit in the children's section for hours. I would read my library books in bed, on the car, in the family room, in the bathroom (yikes!!). I daresay I probably slept with them.

This library-going thing continued throughout high school with no problem, and I entered college still a normal well-adjusted library-goer. Then, at some unknown point in time during my college tenure, I snapped. Something went terribly awry - an event that I must have repressed into the far, blackest corners of my mind because I can't for the life of my place it - and I began to view the library as a dirty, smelly, fearsome place. It wasn't just libraries, either - it was thrift stores, antique shops, dark alleys, even my own weathered paperbacks that I had known and loved in my now estranged book-loving childhood. I started requesting books from the safety of my dorm room so I didn't have to wander into the stacks at the library, then carefully ensuring that they never touched my skin as I flipped through them to get through my studies. Latex gloves were acquired, and used. Amazingly, I graduated. With a degree in English. Yeah, I don't know how I did it either.

Anyway - fast forward to now. I can touch old books now. I just don't like handling them for very long. However, necessity breeds courage and as of this afternoon I found myself standing at the counter of the very nicely remodeled Middletown Public Library asking to sign up for a membership.

'A membership?'
'Yes.'
'Oh, you mean a library card.'
'Er... yes.' I wondered if it was worth launching into my librariophobe story lest she think I was so dumb as to not know how to ask for a library card. Verdict: the less said, the better.

I got my card - nifty scannable thing, unlike the cardboard card I'd had when I was younger. Good thing, because those things get old.

Then I ventured into the stacks to find my Praxis books. I pulled one out - the cover was creased, the pages yellowed. Fear crept up the back of my throat but I forced myself to continue flipping. Wasn't too bad. I piled it up with another book, then wandered into the DVD section. Movies aren't dirty! - But their cases are. Ick. Nevertheless, I pressed on. Picked out two movies. (Ocean's 12 and Brick, if you're curious.) Then I decided that as I was already here, and already holding a small pile of books and grody DVD cases, I might as well browse some of the featured books on display. I touched a good few - both hardcover and paperback - before deciding on one, to start.

And then I checked out. The checker-outer (what are they called, again? Oh - librarians, I suppose. Ha...) stuck my card in a scanning machine, then laid my books and DVD's out on a pad. Then - the most miraculous thing - a digital printout of everything I'd checked out, along with each due date! Amazing! Gone are the days of little card pockets glued to every book and that cute little stamper with the due date. I have to admit I miss those things.

I walked out of the library, books and DVD's in my arms, feeling insanely proud of myself. Victory!

Now I just have to read them. Ack.