Readers - you may or may not know that I have been wearing glasses since I was four years old. That's right - my eyes have not been the perfect orbs they should be for almost 21 years. I don't know what it's like to wake up and see my surroundings clearly, and I imagine that if that were to ever happen again, I would probably freak out every morning for a good two to three month long grace period.

If I had digital pictures of me and my glasseshood, I would most certainly post them. Unfortunately, I do not. Perhaps when I am home for Thanksgiving I'll make a point to scan them in and share.

I will say that when I was about six years old, I had the fantastic idea that I wanted tinted lenses. That's right. I walked around looking like a miniature, Chinese-girl version of an old man with cataracts.

I'll make sure to scan a picture of that time period, if nothing else.

When I was in seventh grade, my older brother (who had been wearing glasses for about as long as I had) had had contacts for about a year and I decided it was time to be done with coke bottle glasses and having to tilt my head at an awkwardly unnatural angle for school photos to avoid a glare. (Again... will try to scan one of those as well.) So off I went to the eye doctor for a fitting.

When my first pair of lenses came in, I sat in the vanity of the eye doctor and spent the better part of an afternoon trying to put the first one in my eye. I must have spent about two hours there... and still couldn't bring myself to make contact with my eye. I had something else to do that afternoon - piano lesson, probably - so I had to leave, have my lesson, and come back to keep trying. Bless those eye doctor nurses and their patience! Oh, and my mother who then had to deal with my eye-touching fears for the next couple weeks or so before I became accustomed to just popping them in and out.

Fast forward to college. I've been wearing my contacts, happy as a clam to join the ranks of non-visually impaired society (ostensibly, of course... at night was when my terrible secret - THE GLASSES - emerged). However, over the years my vision has continued to deteriorate, and it is more and more difficult to keep up with the ever-advancing technology of short-term wear contacts. Whereas people have graduated to such craziness as two-week contacts, daily contacts, OVERNIGHT CONTACTS... I am still wearing the same pair for an entire year and using all sorts of wacky cleaners to eliminate protein deposits.

Come summer after senior year in college. I am working at CTY (aka nerd camp). A couple weeks in, my eyes start itching and watering, and my contacts don't stay in place for more than a couple hours. They start sticking to my eyelids. I go without contacts for a little while, but this is apparently the hottest, most humid summer ever in the history of man, which means that my glasses keep sliding down my face a la Super Nerd style. But I can't bring myself to wear the contacts because of the excruciating pain they cause my eyes.

Finally, I get home from nerd camp and go to the eye doctor. Turns out that I'm allergic to protein deposits!!! Isn't that FANTASTIC?! The doc gives me antibiotic drops and after two weeks I'm good to go. He also finds a contact lens manufacturer who will make three-month contacts in my ridiculously high prescription. (Think I'm exaggerating? My left eye is -10.25 and my right is -11.25. Yes. When it comes to the Whose Vision is Worse game, I always win, suckers.)

This is all well and good. While most other contact-wearers have long done away with any sort of cleaner (they've gone so far as to make 'no-rub' solution!!!) I still have two cleaners. And you better believe I rub. All in the name of doing away with those pesky protein deposits.

Since then, every summer my eyes still freak out, mostly because of humidity which I guess increases the production of protein, and I have to go without contacts for a couple weeks. Sometimes I need more drops from the doctor. Fine, fine. During those weeks I always bemoan my terrible vision, and stare at other people's ail-free eyes with the deepest envy. But then it's fixed and I continue on my way.

HOWEVER. Then came this past October. October 9th, it was - I'm at work and my eye starts itching. No big deal, right? WRONG. It starts to cloud over and water like crazy, and I can no longer concentrate on work. So I go home sick and take a three-hour nap. When I wake up, my right eye is swollen and still watering. Ack! What?! Then the next morning, so swollen I can barely open it. I call in sick and sleep for most of the day. Not because I'm necessarily tired, but what else am I going to do if I can't use my eyes?

The next day I feel a little better. Off to work, and then home for the weekend. My eyes still water intermittently, but they aren't swollen anymore and I feel confident that this is just going to fade away. WELL I AM WRONG because I wake up Monday morning and my eyes seem to be leaking a thick, sticky puslike fluid. I go to work anyway. By about 2:00 my eyes are so red they're almost purple, and swollen, and definitely emitting a gross discharge. I go cry in my manager's office. Everyone in my department gives me the number of their eye doctor... Becca (lifesaver!) calls her doctor and makes an appointment while pretending to be me.

That night I nearly cry myself to sleep... and when I wake up in the morning and open my eyes, they don't open. They are crusted over with dried pus. I never thought I would actually experience this, but I had to pick my eyes open. It was fantastic. Then I had to take a 45 minute subway ride to the eye doctor, during which I kept my eyes closed so no one would look at my purple eyes and run screaming. When I got there, I had to pick my eyes open once again. (Side note: my eyes are watering now just thinking about it)

Turns out I have an eyelid infection. Well, DUH. Doc gives me really strong 'bacterial ocular infection' drops and sends me on my way. They work FANTASTICALLY. No more redness and no more discharge. Just chapped, peeling skin around my eyes from all the fluid that has been around them for the past week. I look diseased.

Then I go up to New Hampshire for the weekend and my eyes are so happy they nearly sing. I even wear my contacts for a bit.

I return home Monday, wake up Tuesday with ITCHY WATERY EYES AGAIN!!! What the heck?!?!

-Oops. I have to run to brunch now. To be continued!! Are you in full suspense?!?!

comments

are you allergic to something in your apartment?

and I think my mom ties you in the Whose Vision is Worse Contest...I think she might have the exact same prescription. Weird!

ellen | November 12, 2007 8:42 AM