friends,
here is something very secret about me:
i hate traveling. well. that's not true. i hate booking flights and flying because it is scary and i didn't do it enough after the age of 13.

by that i mean, since the age of 13, i have flown on a commercial plane once.

anyway - i haven't been to california since 9th grade when i went for christmas. i'd wanted to go back in the following years but never had the chance, and then once college started i just never thought about it. since i've become somewhat financially independent i have not been able to muster up enough 1. courage or 2. money to plan any sort of large trip that was not on the east coast-

except for the summer of 2005 about a week after i quit my job and on a whim got a $200 ticket to cincinnati to see alice. that is the one time i have flown since age 13. and - it was frightening. although i didn't have to worry about taking off work since i had no job.

alice is in california now at berkeley and a few months ago i thought, why don't i just go out there? i have family there, i have alice there, i haven't been there in 11 years and frankly i don't even remember what it's like to be there.

so tonight tatiana and i coordinated schedules and i bit the bullet and just bought my ticket. i know it sounds like a small deal, but for me it really is. but i did it!!!

lots of things have to change in my life, i've realized - and it starts now.