I went on a date tonight, even though I had resolved to stop dating. So I called it a non-date. Only the other person didn't quite know that. Well, whatever. I'm getting kind of tired of this game and its superficialities, and I refuse to dumb myself down in order to "play the game" or whatever.

I think it is really sad that I can't meet someone, think they're interesting, and spend time with them without them (or me) thinking that the next step is, logically, physical contact, false affection, all that stuff that should be reserved for people who truly care for each other.

Like, can't we really connect first? That's really, truly what I live for.

It's what I still want from the latest boy I have grown to care for, basically, intrinsically.

I just hope he (and others) can process that. If not... I suppose I keep pressing on. Next step... communicating to the NON-date counterpart that I am, in fact, in a period of NON-dating.