So last week I joined an Asian dating site. Yes, me. I'm a little sad that I've built myself such a reputation for being anti dating Asian guys, because now I have to go through and explain to everyone I know why I've had a change of perspective. The truth is I'm pretty ashamed that I was ever in the mindset that I wasn't open to dating Asian guys - this past year has taught me a lot about racial identity and equity, and what's offensive and belittling to a racial category, even if it's my own. Sometimes I feel pretty removed from most people in my life because I do think about these things now, and react to them. I can't blame them - they are basing their ideas and opinions on what they know. But I can be upset when they refuse to try to understand what I am saying to them.
Anyway that's not the point of this entry. The point is, I joined an Asian dating site, mostly to see what's out there.
I found that what's out there are many, many, many white men in their forties actively seeking women on Asian dating sites. What would prompt anyone to join an Asian dating site? Obviously, to find Asian people to date. Um, this is slightly disturbing.
More disturbing is the fact that most of the people who have contacted me are white men in their forties. My profile CLEARLY states 1. that I am 23 and 2. I am not interested in meeting white men on this site. And still they keep coming (though I have to concede that my profile did not state #2 until after I received a slew of smiles/cards/profiles/etc from older white men, and since updating my profile, they have lessened). Also, people from all over the world are contacting me, and I can only imagine what their intentions are, seeing that my profile also states that I live in Brooklyn. ACK.
The best, though:
1. Shortly after I updated my profile to say: "One more thing. Please don't contact me if you're a caucasian male. Because what the hell are you doing on an Asian dating site? I won't be a part of an Asian fetish, and I also won't waste my time arguing about why it's a fetish and not just a "preference." / (Please note that I am not anti-whiteguys. I am anti-whiteguysonasiandatingsites.)," I received a mail message from a 41-year-old white male with a huge neck with the subject "hater woman." I couldn't read the actual message, because I have to pay for messaging capabilities and clearly I am seeing that this site is not worth my money...
2. One guy, also a white male but 45 years old, headlined his profile: "the guy store called... your order is ready" <-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME
3. I also received a "smile" from a 50 year old white man who is, self-proclaimed, "God-fearing." He looks like an older, fatter, messier version of Bruce Willis.
4. I also got a "smile" from a 60 year old white/Hispanic man whose username is "marriageminded," that said "Send me an email anytime, I promise I will respond right away." UM HI I AM 23 YEARS OLD!!!
Sooo anyway... this has been my primary form of entertainment the past few days. And by entertainment, I mean, grossout factor.
comments
my friend jesse is white. yes, but is he 45? tatiana |
July 30, 2006 11:08 PM haha no he isn't 45 and he also doesn't go trolling for asian women. he said that while he was in china, he wasn't attracted to any of the women there because they were so small and angular that they reminded him of teenage girls. when he was coming back to the states, he said that he was excited to be around hot women again. but now that he is back, he keeps seeing american women and thinking that they are so tall and big! and then he sees asian women and thinks 'wow she's so attractive!' haha this isn't why he thinks he would get along with you (because of the whole american born chinese thing) but because i told him of your rage and he likes people with opinion. so... i don't think he would be on an asian dating site. but it is def his preference now. also, his first gf was koren. haha. tatiana |
July 31, 2006 11:06 AM all i can do is laugh. and that is it. i had a discussion this past weekend with my roommate about the fetishization of people of color. i don't think the white boy got it. big surprise. jason |
July 31, 2006 11:51 PM